Alexi Lalas: Scum across the pond


Dear Alexi Lalas, you were an inspired player on the US team several years ago. Now you’re just a whiny bitch, full of bitterness. As pro-American as I am, I can’t help but cringe when I hear you speak with your anti-England bitterness. Dude, you have slammed Team England since before they played the US in the opening match of the 2010 World Cup. It’s obvious you’re not a fan of the Premier League. Lets look at your career. You played what, a year in the Italian league at Padova? You bounced around in the MLS, and then went on to screw up the LA Galaxy with the Beckham debaucle. Alexi, the MLS sucks. The competition is weak. The all-stars of the league wouldn’t survive in the Champions League. Their all-stars would struggle against any of the Premier League’s big four. Why do you sit and just slam the players on Team England. Clearly the coaching sucks. Fabio Capello blew it. He left Joe Cole on the bench during most of the team’s run. James probably should have started in goal to open the group stage instead of Green.
It’s clear Team England choked. They struggled in their group stage, and flamed out against a far superior Germany. But the Germans are a world power. Having said that, you can’t say England just isn’t very good. You continue to smugly say that the English are awful. But look at their lineup. The roster is stacked with several marquee stars; Lampard, Rooney, Gerrard, Ashley Cole, Ferdinand (hurt), Jermain Defoe, and Peter Crouch. Any of these guys would be a top five player in the MLS. Maybe it’s their age. Perhaps. They aren’t in their 20’s anymore. And maybe they aren’t the heart and soul of the EPL team. It’s possible that it’s the other worldly players who make a difference; Drogba, Kalou, Berbatov, Park, Robinho.
Alexi, being impartial is not just about muting your American loyalty. You’re also not supposed to be a hater. I can’t figure out why you’re so anti-England. You walked off the pitch a 2-0 winner against the English in 1993. And don’t get me wrong. Alexi, I like your work. I think you’ve been very good for ESPN, but please, pull the stick out of your ass when it comes to the English. You could learn from Steve McManaman, who has been loyal to his team (oftentimes wearing his heart on his sleeve), but also more realistic. I loved hearing McManaman say on Saturday that he wanted to go back to his hotel after the pre-game and bet on Team USA to win. It was of course shut down by Bob Ley, who doesn’t know how to roll with the punches and have any fun. Don’t worry Bob, you already clarified that gambling is illegal in America, and that it’s legal in England.
Overall Alexi, you don’t need to be an honest ABE. I’d like to tell you BRAVO, BUTT CECH this out, you get a DEMERIT. You don’t need to be DAFOE. Your commentary should be neutral, before, during, and after EVRA game. No need to REID between the lines. But ENDO this madness. We’re HOLDEN you responsible. Take this to HART, because it’s a FORLAN conclusion– your work has been not only MESSI, it’s KAKA, sotospeak.

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~ by sotospeaks on June 28, 2010.

35 Responses to “Alexi Lalas: Scum across the pond”

  1. It’s alot more than just anti-England….the man is a pure scumbag, ragging on anyone who opposes the US. He was criticizing Italy so much at one point that it was borderline racism.

  2. I agree, Alexi is the typical xenophobic, ugly American. I can’t stand him as a commentator.

  3. I was thinking the same thing. English girls(or for that matter Italians babes) must not be impressed by his resume at the hotel bars. We have a long way to go in the U.S. before we can play ball with Europe or South America.

  4. That’s hilarious. You might be right. Lalas may not have any “road game.” Maybe they don’t like the gingers overseas.

  5. Your are ripping Lalas but you should be ripping John Harkes too. I agree that Lalas is anti England, anti Italy, and anti France. He seemed to be happy France totally fell apart. Ask him why his last world cup squuad fell apart. John Harkes is the answer. The old team membbers of that team had some what of a munity of their coach at the time

  6. Alexi Lalas: Scum across the pond?…

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  7. You failed to mention one thing: Alexi was RIGHT. England, Italy and France are where.
    I know it is a sensitive time for you but the Europeans as a group are very ordinary now.
    You will have a hard time with this but the US will win a World Cup before england will. The US is improving and England is stagnant. Too many foreigners in the EPL.
    I hope you can accept this without anger.

  8. This is a wonderful article you nailed it perfectly. John Harkes is another one to blame. Both of these guys bash certain teams because when they played for the US these teams beat them. For Lalas to say certain things about England its just idiotic. I dont thing his career was all that great in my opinion. Also, in my opinion I dont think he should be an analyst for “real football” (soccer). He is mostly one sided and doesnt speak to nicely about other teams when these teams are much more superior than the US team. The MLS will never be the quality of the European and South American leagues. European countries and South American countries have a much much tougher route to go in qualifying for the world cup. For instance these past qualifyings for France and Portugal were not so promising, although they did qualify it was not a cake walk. Lalas if you have nothing valid to say then just keep quiet because you look idiotic when you talk out of your ass with nonsense.

  9. Another thing the US will always be a quarterfinal team at best. In my opinion I just dont think they have what it takes to win a World Cup. There are to many teams that are far more superior and skilled than the US.

  10. What are you, twelve? Your blog post is full of errors and misrepresentations. Alexi, first and foremost, is playing a part. He was all for NY/NJ when he was GM there, he pimped LA when he was there. Now that he’s a commentator for the USA viewpoint, he’s pimping them, plain and simple. If you ever watch any of the paid commentators from England, you’ll see they are much more xenophobic about the game than Alexi could ever be (just think, when’s the last time an Englishman had success overseas? Benchrider Owen & Beckham at RM? Hardly. They hate McLaren coaching in The Netherlands and Germany even though he’s winning titles). Alexi just wants soccer in the USA to succeed. It’s a product he believes in and supports. Sure, he’s a blowhard, but he’s no Don Cherry. He’s a showman, shouting loud and proud about a team he believed had the depth to go far in a tournament. And he (correctly) pointed out the flaws in the biggest opponent they played. Just because you would rather see England win the World Cup because you love the EPL, doesn’t mean you have to put down someone who is doing the same thing for his league and country. It makes you no better than what you are accusing him of doing.

    Thx,

    Jay!

  11. Jay,

    I love the Don Cherry reference (if he shows up in a red suit tomorrow, I might have a heart attack.) Here’s my point. I have no problem with him blasting poor play. I think you missed the point of my post. England, France, and Italy were all disgraceful. Report that.

    I’m saying that there’s a cockiness and arrogance about it, and it doesn’t belong. I respect his knowledge. But I think he’s being ignorant in the way he conducts himself. We all know that four years from now the United States will flame out. We just do. We will never be a powerhouse. We can never match the talent of Brazil. Very few countries can. But look at how inspired Argentina is playing with Mardonna coaching. Yes Messi is playing good ball, but he hasn’t even scored. I am interested to see how the Spain and Portugal game ends tomorrow.

    But when it comes to Lalas, he needs to stay topical. Continually taking shots at the English or the players on that team is ridiculous. HE doesn’t need to be an American home anymore. The US is out now. He doesn’t need to sound like such a jaded guy. I was all for his pro-US stance when we played England, but now he just needs to let it go. The crappy teams are out,and he needs to be focusing on who remains.

  12. I agree – Alexi is a tit.
    Great Britain is made up of Scotland, Wales and England. You insult me as a Scot when you say that England represent the “Brits”. There is no such soccer team, and there never will be. The ‘home nations’ respective associations won’t ever let that happen.
    Also, Steve McManaman.

    • scot in texas you are such a fukin cliche mate thank god england as a nation now hates u cnuts as much as u hate us so fuk off and buy another nation’s top you pathetic cnut fuk scotland and thank fuk that rascist murray lost at wimbledon u are all wankers u scots fukin wish i ran into more of yah so i cud shut u up wiv me fist

  13. Agreed. What’s up with Lalas and Harkes? Lalas has that grin everytime he talks about how England messed up. I never liked England football team myself, but he is on TV. He is supposed to render some impartial knowledge. What he talks about is like baby ramblings, no discussions on strategy. Martinez, Klinse and Gullitt look amazed and confounded when he talks. They just can’t believe his stupidity.
    And Harkes, don’t even get me started. Right around 40 minutes of the Ghana-US game, he said this: “Ghana is a physically better team today, but US is superior to them tactically”. This he said after his booth partner Tyler likened the American players to dazed rabbits in the game.
    Even during some North Korea game, they were making fun of the players and making stereotypical political statements. How dare they bring in politics and make fun of hard-working athletes in a sports show?

  14. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by soto speaks, soto speaks. soto speaks said: Alexi Lalas: Scum across the pond?: http://wp.me/pTBZD-3j […]

  15. I was rooting for Team USA as an American but England is the team I love. I hate this Greek American Lalas for his anti-England rhetoric. He is not qualified to criticize England. He is not talented enough & he is a horrible soccer analyst. ESPN should get rid of this joker!

  16. Lalas’ anti-Italy, anti-England & especially anti-French rhetoric is pathetic & sickening. I am an American who loves team USA but I have to admit, Lalas’ picture should be in the dictionary next to the word, “ugly American”! ESPN, fire this a-hole.

  17. I tried so hard and DID get into the US’s short run during this World Cup. HOWEVER, how the hell can the rest of the world expect us to take a sport seriously when they can’t even get a damn goal right? And what the hell, the refs …don’t have to explain the calls on the field?! How about the theatrics of all these guys who barely get touched and go diving to the ground crying and grabbing themselves? Or how about the fact that nobody wants to see a a full-grown, 130 lb (soaking wet) “man” take all of his clothes off and run around the field like some boozed up streaker in a collegetown?

    What the hell is the point of it?

    These guys are bigger divas than the worst of the bunch in America. No wonder so many Western Women are drawn to this sport. It’s like some shitty teenage drama, where semi-attractive malnurished people compete with one another to see who can get the most attention, all to some awful soundtrack (the vuvuzela).

  18. Funny how so many of the best players in the Premier league aren’t English isn’t it? Its kind of like saying by disparaging team USA baseball team you are saying MLB is not a great baseball league. It just makes no sense. Lalas seemed to have no problem scoring in a 2-0 win against England when he faced them in the 1993 US Cup.

    Funny how he was EXACTLY right in saying England was overrated. I didn’t hear him disparaging Ghana, and they are still in it.

  19. Why shouldn’t England be looking at all criticisms of their players, system, coaches, management, youth setup, trainers… every facet of the national team structure. They have been a second tier World Cup squad for decades now. Who the last English player who was a legit contender for best player in the world? Beckham won some awards, but was he ever dominant in any aspect of the game outside of crosses and set pieces?
    There is a definite possibility that all the excellent foreign players in the EPL prop up the English “stars,” making them look better than they are.
    Simply firing the coach and hoping a new system will fix the issues is naive. There needs to be a massive overhaul on all levels of the FA. Though Lalas is blunt and simplistic, that’s what he’s getting at, and the English would do well to listen.

  20. Wow look at this guy talk badly about football and the players. I understand everyone has an opinion, but this guy doesnt really make a valid point when he speaks. As a matter of fact why is he even posting a comment. If you dont like the sport than dont watch it. Obviously he has interest if he comments. He must be watching it all the time. Do us all a favor dont post another comment and just shut up. You would never be able to get through one game if you were playing. I enjoy american football, but to be honest its pretty boring how one play will last 15 seconds and it takes another minute to start the next play. Talk about a slow paced game. At least in real football the play is constently moving minus fouls, the ball going out of play, and substitutions. At least in real football the crowd gets into the game. Like I said do us all a favor and shut up and dont comment you idiot.

  21. okay, AL says a lot of stupid stuff…but this rant is totally amateur. attack the man for his totality of idiocy. he disrespected ghana with his comments. he trashed spain until it became cool again to pick them against portugal. he, with bravado, predicted a dutch win (like that was hard) and acted cocky when he was right.

    but i’m afraid he is very close to right with his assessment of england. yes, lampard, gerrard, rooney, etc are “world class.” but in the recent few years they have failed to show up on the international stage. how did they do in the CL? (oh yeah, barca handled MU just fine and Chelsea hid like scared little kids).

    I follow Liverpool and like gerrard and johnson. i think lampard is world class and rooney has a bright future (he needs to perform on the big stage and only suffers because messi is close to his age and now showing brilliance in all tournaments). but england sucked this tournament.

    to base an entire rant on lalas on his comments on englad is suspect at best, and stupid at worst. i don’t like lalas at all, but to highlight his england comments only smacks of the trickling tears of a crying englishman….

  22. Kevin,

    My point with Lalas is that the world had moved on yesterday to Brazil and Chile, and he’s still sitting there taking his shots at the English and the Italians. Hardly am I a crying Englishman, considering I’m half Mexican and born and raised in Socal. I just felt like Lalas was sporting some serious sour grapes. I’d rather hear about the matches of the day, than him cracking on teams that were bounced in the previous days. Is he going to be smacking on Christiano Ronaldo come Saturday and Sunday? IMHO, I just want him to stay topical. Thanks for the post!

  23. Totally agree with this post. LOL – I almost fell out of my chair when I heard Lalas say that Gerrard, Lampard, and Rooney are not world class, absolutely ridiculous. Name me one top club in the world that wouldn’t want any of these 3 playing for them.
    Also, during the USA – Ghana match, he along with Ian Darke and John Harkes were so anti-Ghana that I had to switch channels to another coverage with a different commentator. Talk about biased!!!

  24. Lalas; is bias blindly to the US team which, by the way, does not deserve to even be in the world cup. If the US competes in Africa or Asia, not even Europe of South America, they would never make it to any world cups…. This is an in capable team that does not know how to score. I feel sorry for the poor Tim Howard, he deserves a better team to be on.

  25. Kevin,

    I’m an Englishman and assure you I have no trickling tears. I can accept that as a team England were poor, they got what they deserved at the World Cup but Alexi’s continual, hate filled rants were embarrassing. Also, all your references to the CL are pointless. Why mention Barca when it was Bayern that knocked out Man Utd? Did Barca win the CL… No, so I’m guessing you think the Spanish national team are crap along with Brazil and Portugal? Well Kaka and Ronaldo play for Real Madrid and they didn’t win it either? Wait a minute… Inter won the CL so Italy are the best and they’ll win the World Cup!!

  26. alexi just sucks ballz, flat out. can’t stand him. espn needs to find people who know the sport and can articulate it to the common fan, that’s it. lalas just comes off like an asshole. it’s not good to have him on the biggest sports station in the world talking and acting the way he does.

  27. I guess I should be glad that I’ve been watching the World Cup on Univision.

  28. Just compare Lalas’ comments and analyses with Klinsmann and Gullit and you’ll see how stupid he really is. He doesn’t deserve to share the same table with a two-time World Player of the Year and a World Cup 5th All Time Scorer. Yes, he may be right on with his views of the English team. But it’s not hard to come up with that. Any football fan can tell you how badly they performed. You can just tell he hates England. After the Spain Portugal match, he pointed out how some of the favorites like Argentina, Netherlands, and Spain are hitting their stride and starting to show their true form, unlike England…What’s the point of bringing that up? They were already eliminated two days prior to that match…he’s so bitter. Maybe he’s jealous that he never made it in the EPL.

  29. Compare the insightful comments and jovial good nature of McManaman to the dull, condescending, up his own arse coments of Lalas.

    They arrogance and conceit of Lalas, who takes hiself is far too seriously is incredible when you think that McManaman played for England Liverpool and Real Madrid and whta has Lalas done is comparison??

  30. Agree that Lalas is useless. However, the English, as you point out, have tons of talent and yet went out with a whimper after squeaking through the group stage. I find it hard to argue that they are such a good team given the results. P.S. It’s Steve McManaman…not Sean. and it’s Jermain Defoe…not Dafoe. How much of a fan are you exactly?

  31. Dove, good call. In my anger and haste I slipped up a few times. Thanks for keeping me on my toes!

  32. Funny how he was not as critical of Argentina after they got clobbered by Germany today. I get that England did not shine in the group stage but they put up a much better fight against the Germans and could have made it a very different game at 2-2.

  33. This is hilarious. Listening to Alexi “Bozo” Lalas speak you’d think the moron has 28 World Cup titles under his belt. Lalas, the only thing that was cool about your football game was a wannabe dreadlock because it made you look like a hippie stoner from Berkeley, and a horrible acoustic guitar skill. You don’t have that now, so shut the FCUK up.

  34. As much as I don’t like Lalas and hate hearing him speak about soccer, if he said anything bad about England’s football team he was right. They did not “choke” they sucked,they sucked because they were bad. I wouldn’t have Terry on any team of mine save 5 a side, Lampard either. Don’t get me started on England. Lalas is a cynic and he wears it like he was once at the top where he never was and was one of the best which he never was. I remember him sitting on the bench during a U.s world cup lose. I’ll be happy to listen to Lalas speak on football the next time The U.s.a. and England meet in the World Cup Finals but till then I’d wish he’d keep it to himself.

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